you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i now understand why vodka
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
