But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
