And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
