so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
