What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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