I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
