Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Your penis caused this!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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