You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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