ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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