And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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