There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
