This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
