my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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