I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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