He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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