your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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