Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
