toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Who died my cat blue again?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
