This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
