dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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