Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just puked most of my soul out..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
