It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
