Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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