I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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