dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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