So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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