Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
