eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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