just come out here and I will go home with you...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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