It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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