3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Your mouth is God's brothel.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
