I swear she didn't look like that last week.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
PANTIES FOUND
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