im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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