Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
