Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
