Your tits are I can't wait for
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
