I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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