You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
