The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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