dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
