if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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