Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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