Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
