I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
