So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
