No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
