im holly from the hills drunk
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
