all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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