Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
