"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
