Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
