I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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